![]() So while I thought this might be a nice, comforting story about a group of young people entering adulthood, it turned out to be quite rancid. To me it was just another story about crappy people and I’m happy to move on to something else. It didn’t change or add to my view on anything. I know CONVERSATIONS WITH FRIENDS is a book about selfish people who get entranced by each other, but I didn’t feel impressed or comforted by anything it had to offer. I just don’t think it’s very healthy for us to accept that this is a messy age of complicated feelings and relationships. So, to me, whatever mistakes Frances or Bobbi make are entirely their own doing, and not the consequence of a young age. I also see young adults taking their education and relationships seriously and treating both with respect. Some people might think I’m being harsh but I live in the kind of culture where I see people younger than Frances and Bobbi making difficult decisions and handling more responsibilities. Kids behave more responsibly than the adults in CONVERSATIONS WITH FRIENDS. This narrative is almost like a ticket for acting immaturely, making mistakes, being wrong about life. It’s almost like they’re waiting for tragedy to strike them in order to accept that its time to behave. Unfortunately, we have these narratives that have been normalised about college-going young adults who just can’t seem to get their life together, who make mistakes and are reckless. That’s how life works things happen to you and you learn to deal with it. I think early twenties when you’re practically an adult is a good time to start acting mature the fact is we’re always going to be figuring out how to be an adult but not having figured that out is a poor excuse to be irresponsible. The setting didn’t offer anything to the narrative, which disappointed me because it didn’t add anything to my sense of the place or culture. Even when the narrative moved to Paris, there was no real change in the atmosphere of the story. It might as well have been set in New York or London, or some other metropolitan western city. ![]() ![]() The novel seemed to be set in Ireland but that didn’t matter. This connection sort of validates the very real influence and power that religious texts can have over a person, even when they don’t necessarily believe. While Frances is clearly not religious, she is in some way connected to the religious text of her childhood which I found very realistic. Faith seems to be something people want to disown because perhaps it makes them feel weak to give up some control to a higher entity. It’s always a little redeeming when an author cares to include a religious aspect, especially when it’s a character or story set in the west. Perhaps one almost unique quality of Frances is her occasional referencing of the Bible. She relied on the people around her for her own self worth but didn’t offer them honesty and care in return. Overall, she didn’t impress me and didn’t provide a reassuring perspective to the story. There’s also the self-harm that Frances inflicts upon herself as a form of control over her feelings. Frances is characterized as being intelligent but she doesn’t seem to have a hold on herself, is self-centered and unhappy. To me it’s not a rookie mistake, just insincere and a little careless. She writes a short story about Bobbi and fails to communicate this to her. She didn’t seem to be sure of what she wanted she displays no interest in getting a job, barely connects with the people around her and pursues what could only be a toxic relationship with a married man. The drama surrounding these pairs bubbles into a complicated messiness that seems to bear down on Frances the most (and she’s also the narrator so her perspective in enlarged). The pair of couples turn into several dynamics: Frances and Bobbi, Melissa and Nick, Frances and Nick and Bobbi and Melissa. Frances, in the meantime, experiences the same pull towards Nick, an actor who doesn’t express his feelings very well. As Melissa begins to write a profile on the poet-bestfriends, Bobbi becomes increasingly drawn towards her. The novel is narrated entirely from Frances’ point of view, starting from the day their paths cross with Melissa and Nick. The heart of the story revolves around Frances and Bobbi, best friends and poets, and Melissa and Nick, a married couple who are minor celebrities in their own right. So skip this book if that might affect you. Note: One thing people don’t tell you is the intermittent self-harm the narrator, Frances, inflicts upon herself. Naturally, affected by the rosy praise surrounding this novel, I really wanted to be part of the club that loves this book so much. The story was not what I expected, but I moved on from that quite quickly and took it for what it was. ![]() My experience with CONVERSATIONS WITH FRIENDS has left a weird taste in my mouth. CONVERSATIONS WITH FRIENDS by Sally Rooney
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